VAGUE SPACE

Season in Review

What a roller-coaster television season, one marked mostly by disappointment, but with a few bright pleasures, including a single brilliant shining example of quality network television comedy.  There was little else.  I've stopped watching TV as much in recent years, which you've probably noticed in my lack of blogging about the pleasures of television, and it is admittedly quite freeing.  I don't miss having shows to watch, for it seems as if (even with DVR) you become beholden to the shows as more than mere entertaining distractions from daily obsessions.  Several times this season, even with my limited schedule of must-watch programs, I've stared at a list with three or four O.C.s and a couple Losts and felt more resigned than anything at my need to watch them.  The truth is, it's better not to get involved, to spend my time socializing or reading or writing or listening to music -- heck, almost anything is better than being forced to watch another confusing episode of Lost... and that's one of my favorite shows.  And I've found I can only take my television in small bites for the most part.  The Daily Show and The Colbert Report - yes, of course, but they only take about 15 minutes each and then some Food Network, some baseball, maybe a glimpse of Seinfeld, and that's basically my viewing day.  I have other things to do.  The point is, when I was younger, for better or worse, I could easily make a list of some top 20 or 30 programs in a season that I've at least watched on a semi-regular basis.  Most of those were sitcoms, back when sitcoms were still programmed, but still, I had serious trouble coming up with 10 shows to make this season's list.  And I don't regret it.  Looking at the state of the top 10 in fact, I'm kind of glad that at least three of the programs will not be returning next season.  I just don't have the time anymore.

Bringing Back the Funny

Oh good O.C., how I've missed you.  It's certainly debatable whether bad O.C. has been more prevalent in the lifespan of the show than good O.C., but this season has been shockingly solid - shocking after the disappointing, miserable disaster of Season 3.  Somehow, some way, the writers realized that this was supposed to be a fun, enjoyable, over-the-top and humorous show, not some depressing saga about Marissa and Ryan's teen torments.  With Marissa's death now fully mourned - and her horrible, depressing character now good and gone - the show has refound some of the glory of its first years, the reason we all started watching in the first place. The funny is back.   And with Chrismakkuh coming up next week, it couldn't have happened soon enough.  Even Ryan's funny now!

• Ryan: "It's not because you're strange."
• Taylor: "You don't find me strange?"
• Ryan: "Yeah I do, but that's not why I ran off."

TV Season in Review

I haven't written much about television since the new season began in September, mostly because I haven't had time to watch much television since September, let alone write about it, but I've caught up as best I could on the few shows still on my must-watch list, and I'm ready to evaluate how good they've been these past 2 months.  Some shows are taking a hiatus (Lost), some are nearing the end of their fall seasons (The Amazing Race, South Park, Weeds), some are just beginning (The OC).  But I've given a letter grade to everything I've watched.  And we'll start with the "A"s and work down from there.  You'll be surprised to see what's at the bottom.

• Lost (Grade:  A) Much has happened in this abbreviated six week mini-season (new episodes are on hold until February, so that they can run through the rest of the season without repeat interruptions).  And when a lot happens on Lost, it's a good thing.  I didn't necessarily like all that happened, but then I did like enough of it to keep watching and to keep wanting to watch next year.  In case you haven't kept up, here's the quick recap:  Jack, Sawyer, and Kate were kidnapped basically because Jack is a spinal surgeon and the Others' leader (Ben, formerly known as Henry Gale) has a tumor on his spine.  How they knew Jack was a surgeon and what exactly the Others are up to remains unclear.  But they still claim they are the "good guys", even as they kept Kate and Sawyer locked in a cage all season.  Jack agreed to the surgery, but stops midway through with Ben's life on the line and gets in contact with Kate just in time to save Sawyer's life.  Oh, and Kate and Sawyer totally did it.  That's when the "season" ends.  In other news, Locke saves Eko's life just in time for the island's black smoke monster to kill him; a polar bear appears just in time for Locke to kill it; Desmond seems to be able to see the future; Charlie is still annoying; and Sun is a big fat liar and kind of a slut.  Also, Jin knows what everyone is saying.  And Hurley is still fat.
  

The O.C. Finale

Wow.  Unbelievable.  It was a bizarre spectacle to say the least.  Part season finale, part graduation celebration, part series finale, part confusing resolution to a bunch of storylines.  And somebody in the picture to the right dies.  It reaked of desperation for a series with flatlining ratings, trying to make a major mid-stream adjustment by killing off one of the major characters of the series, injecting new stories and new blood into the show and at the same time, acting like a series finale with all the goodbyes and the crying and the sappy melancholy songs.  And this was all before the super sappy ending.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Well I kind of wanted to laugh, but it was all too strange.  And I guess in a bit of a "Who shot JR?" kind of way, they've certainly piqued my interest into what will be the aftermath of the events of tonight's episode.  But if they're all written as poorly as this one was, and as poorly as this truly dreadful season was, maybe it's best to take my cues from the characters and just say goodbye as well.  None of them have enjoyed themselves for well over a year.

Senior Prom

Well it's been a while since I've checked back in with the gang from O.C. Central, and a lot has happened in recent episodes.  Seth and Summer broke up when Seth didn't get into Brown and lied to Summer about it.  Seth reunited with old flame Anna on a trip to Providence to win Summer back, which complicated matters further, but got Seth into some art school in Rhode Island.  Ryan also reunited with an old flame, the ex who he thought had fathered his child, but it turns out the baby ain't his, but he still wants to hang out with her.  What a sweet idiot.  And Marissa is back with Volchok, even after dumping him because his friends like raping drunk girls at parties she attends.  But she just can't give up the wonderful stench of the bad boy (or at least not the sex) and is back with him again, proving that (a) every single former character on the show will have a story arc this season, (b) the writers have no idea what the fuck to do with Marissa or she really is schizophrenic, and (c) Marissa's a dirty whore.  So it's good times all around.

The Day After Tomorrow

 

    Summer: "You remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain?"
    Marissa: "Lord of the Rings?"
    Summer: "Yeah."

Ok.  That was pretty funny.  In a somewhat redeeming episode of a series that I swore off two weeks ago yet continue to watch, Marissa recovers long enough from her latest drug and alcohol meltdown to get accepted into a prestigious university and reconnect with  Summer after their longest feud since grade school.  Yes the plot was ridiculous, as the writers seem completely willing to suspend all sense of reality while throwing plots and tertiary characters at us with lightning speed, but in the end, it focused mostly on Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Marissa, had enough witty repartee to remind us why we ever started watching the show in the first place, and didn't play any particularly crappy music in the process.  So I guess it worked.  And the kids are off to college!

Lover I Don't Have to Love

The O.C. is unwatchable.  It's been in the midst of a steady spiral since early in Season 2, and here we are in the midst of a truly horrific Season 3 that has finally lost me forever.  The entire Johnny plotline that resulted in his "tragic" (as in tragically boring) death was the end for me.  Sort of.  I've been behind at least 2 episodes on TiVo but I watched this week's episode after the end of the Duke game.  And I realized finally, that there is nothing redeeming about this show anymore.  I could really care less about any of the characters.  The actors are blatantly going through the motions (Adam Brody most egregiously).  And the writers' attempts to bring some new energy - or anything - to the series by introducing multiple storylines a week involving tertiary characters just is doing nothing for me.  We end up with a new character (like last night's Jess) who just ends up acting like Marissa, so we see Ryan reacting the same boring way in the same boring manner.  It's just unbearable. 

But the thing that has taken me over the edge, the thing that has made me unwilling to ever turn on Fox on a Thursday night again (or any other night for that matter, now that Arrested Development is gone), was that they used an incredible song as the background music for the episode - a definite factor in their favor through the years - but this time, instead of the brilliant original version of Bright Eyes' "Lover I Don't Have to Love", they substituted some weak, ethereal version featuring some horrible chick singing the lines, devoid of Conor's irony.  The cover was by Bettie Serveert, which I think is a Norweigan or Danish band or something and I'm sure they're great and all, but they're no fucking Bright Eyes.   The O.C. may have asked Conor to use the original and he turned them down (he's not as big into whoring his music as Death Cab is), but even if that is so, they should have just moved on to a different song.  Because that was just a disgrace.  Not as disgraceful as Adam Brody's performance this season, but really bad.  Read on to download the original version of the song.  And please help me not to waste my time with this show anymore. 

The Cliffhanger

And so we've perhaps come to the end of the seemingly interminable Johnny and Marissa storyline in a literal "cliffhanger" in which Johnny gets drunk and falls off a cliff and possibly - hopefully - is out of the cast forever.  And yet the episode raised more questions than answers.  For instance, can you really just make a bonfire in the middle of the beach without attracting the cops?  Especially if you're 17 and drinking an open bottle of tequila?  And who climbs a cliff while wasted with a bottle of tequila in one hand?  And since when are there huge cliffs on Newport Beach?  And why the hell is Johnny so in love with a woman who has basically turned his life into complete shit ever since he met her?  I mean, this was a guy who had a hot girlfriend, a crowd of other friends, and a future as a professional surfer.  Now he's left with a broken leg, no future, and "Chilly".  And now he's probably dead.  Is Marissa's complete lack of personality that appealing?  I really don't understand.

Best Chrismakkuh Ever

Well, at least 3rd best.  Of the three we've witnessed on the show.  But it was actually quite a step up for the program from a very forgettable season.  The Jewish jokes were flying, Julie Cooper was chewing Skoal and watching NASCAR, Ryan saved the day in a ridiculously unrealistic plotline, and we got to see home video of 13-year-old Seth's bar mitzvah.  It really don't get any better than that.  And they played the Raveonettes - "The Christmas Song", which you can download below (iTunes version only).  Plus, on what other show can the climactic scene include the line "Sometimes you gotta let the rich people help you".  I mean, that's just some good stuff there. 

(And pictured to the right: The yarmaclaus!)

Download Raveonettes "The Christmas Song".m4a

The Swells

    Ryan, try not to punch Summer.

So one week removed from the Cohens unrealistic and yet successful attempts to get Ryan re-instated into Harbor private school despite his punching a school official in public earlier this year, Ryan is back to his old ways, needing to be bailed out of another half dozen potentially expellable offenses.  You really gotta admire his stick-to-it-iveness.  He keeps telling everybody that the "normal" Newport Beach lifestyle is not for him, and boy, does he know himself.  And yes, he does fill his quota of punching someone out at least once a month.  Although it is fortunately not Summer.