VAGUE SPACE

The Amazing Race 14 Finale

We started the night with three teams in China -- Tammy & Victor, who used their knowledge of Mandarin to come in first in the previous leg (the third of three legs in China where they had a definite advantage over other teams);  Margie & Luke, a team I used to love but have come to strongly dislike after Margie's understandable but regrettable overreaction to the blowup between deaf son Luke and fellow racer Jen (her poor attitude toward Kisha & Jen in subsequent weeks, combined with Luke's incessant whining despite being a grown man hasn't helped either); and Jaime and Cara, former NFL cheerleaders, one of whom is one of the sweetest on the race and the other of whom is an outright raging bitch.  So it was kind of tough to find a rooting interest.  I guess Tammy & Victor.  They haven't done anything too bad this season.

2007-08 Season in Review

An abbreviated disaster of a television season is receiving an abbreviated disaster of a blog post from me, due mostly to the fact that there was basically one good prime time show on television and a bunch of massive disappointments.  The writer's strike was obviously a factor and most of the returning shows -- really, all except one -- did not return to anything close to their previous heights.  The Office was probably the biggest disappointment for me.  After shooting from nowhere to my #1 favorite series in last year's season review, the show seemed to be decidedly less funny, with decidedly less memorable lines than last year.  It was still my #2 favorite show of the year, which kind of gives you an idea of how disappointing the season was overall.  But I guess it is what it is.  Read on to see the full list.  And believe me, a top 10 was a difficult number to reach.  Even with a 50" plasma screen television.

Season in Review

What a roller-coaster television season, one marked mostly by disappointment, but with a few bright pleasures, including a single brilliant shining example of quality network television comedy.  There was little else.  I've stopped watching TV as much in recent years, which you've probably noticed in my lack of blogging about the pleasures of television, and it is admittedly quite freeing.  I don't miss having shows to watch, for it seems as if (even with DVR) you become beholden to the shows as more than mere entertaining distractions from daily obsessions.  Several times this season, even with my limited schedule of must-watch programs, I've stared at a list with three or four O.C.s and a couple Losts and felt more resigned than anything at my need to watch them.  The truth is, it's better not to get involved, to spend my time socializing or reading or writing or listening to music -- heck, almost anything is better than being forced to watch another confusing episode of Lost... and that's one of my favorite shows.  And I've found I can only take my television in small bites for the most part.  The Daily Show and The Colbert Report - yes, of course, but they only take about 15 minutes each and then some Food Network, some baseball, maybe a glimpse of Seinfeld, and that's basically my viewing day.  I have other things to do.  The point is, when I was younger, for better or worse, I could easily make a list of some top 20 or 30 programs in a season that I've at least watched on a semi-regular basis.  Most of those were sitcoms, back when sitcoms were still programmed, but still, I had serious trouble coming up with 10 shows to make this season's list.  And I don't regret it.  Looking at the state of the top 10 in fact, I'm kind of glad that at least three of the programs will not be returning next season.  I just don't have the time anymore.

All Star Finale

And the winners of the Amazing Race All-Star Edition are... not the viewers.  After what has been universally derided as a subpar season of everyone's favorite reality series - with lackluster and uninteresting teams after the early exit of Rob & Amber and strange, erratic leg designs - the final leg for a million dollars boiled down to a single trivia style contest between all three teams, with Eric and Danielle coming out on top, edging out Dustin and Kandace to the finish line to win the race.  The Charla and Mirna little person/evil annoying bitch combo came in 3rd.

After Danny & Oswald's race fatigue destroyed their competitive spirit the past couple legs and ultimately sent them packing, I was left with only one team to root for - the not despicable pairing of  beauty queens Dustin and Kandace, who were always smiling and upbeat and not bad to look at, but also kind-of cutthroat, which made the other teams hate them and the editors to make it seem like they were kind of evil even if they were just playing a game.  I can't say I was a huge fan, and I can't say I'm disappointed that they didn't win a million (something tells me they won't have trouble making money in their lives), but of the three remaining teams I didn't mind them the most.  Eric and Danielle on the other hand - he is an absolute ass, or at least was on many, many earlier legs, treating Danielle like shit and his fellow racers like shit, but to be fair, he was an excellent racer and put up with Danielle's sometimes excessive whining to carry them to victory.  Her game improved dramatically by the end, but this was Eric's victory mostly.  He came in second with partner Jeremy (who we spotted in the final scene as having gained about 30 pounds but still acting like a frat boy idiot) in his original season, and now has avenged that close finish with a win of his own.  So congrats Eric and Danielle, on a job ... done.

Amazing Race All Stars

Inexplicably, I haven’t written about this season’s All-Star Amazing Race yet this year. Actually, there is an explanation. It’s kind of sucked. The show got off to a weak start with an uninspired group of selections for the “All-Star” cast (David & Mary, Eric & Danielle, the personality free Uchenna & Joyce as the only former winners in the race), and then got hit by three of the most popular teams getting eliminated in the first four weeks (John Vito & Jill, a suddenly very out-of-shape and old Kevin & Drew, and the shocking loss of Rob & Amber after victories in each of the first three legs). What was shaping up to be Rob & Amber vs. the world for an entertaining race to victory turned into a scramble of good but not great racers vying for the top position, while Charla & Mirna (okay, mostly Mirna) have become the lead personalities for an otherwise mostly uninteresting cast. It’s gotten so bad that I’m actually rooting for the despicable Mirna to continue on, just because her insane antics and rude behavior make for good television. All in all, though, The Amazing Race has been on a steady slide since the wonderful Season 7 (Rob & Amber losing to Uchenna & Joyce), and All-Stars has not brought about any kind of recovery.

Dude, I'm Such a Hot Giant Chick Right Now

In the penultimate episode of the 10th season of The Amazing Race this week, the final four dipped down to a fairly shocking final three, after a trip from Morocco to Barcelona that ended with two teams wearing giant customes of -- well, giants, which resulted in the title of this post.  And a rather anticlimactic ending thanks to multiple bunchings along the way that left the team "marked for elimination" in the previous leg without much chance to gain the 30 minutes they required to hold off the other teams.  In reality, Dustin and Kandice, the hated "Blondes", who had been up near the top the entire race, finished in last for the 2nd straight leg and were wished a fond farewell by Phil at the mat in the Spanish capital.  Which means the final three is... Rob and Kimberly, Tyler and James, and the most shocking result of all - Lyn and Karlyn, the very first all-female team in the history of the show to make it to the final leg.  And I don't think anyone would have predicted that the out-of-shape, slow, and generally lagging team of Alabama "Lyns" would have broken that lengthy record.  But they did.  And they've got a chance to win a million dollars.  Very little chance, I presume, but a chance nonetheless.

TV Season in Review

I haven't written much about television since the new season began in September, mostly because I haven't had time to watch much television since September, let alone write about it, but I've caught up as best I could on the few shows still on my must-watch list, and I'm ready to evaluate how good they've been these past 2 months.  Some shows are taking a hiatus (Lost), some are nearing the end of their fall seasons (The Amazing Race, South Park, Weeds), some are just beginning (The OC).  But I've given a letter grade to everything I've watched.  And we'll start with the "A"s and work down from there.  You'll be surprised to see what's at the bottom.

• Lost (Grade:  A) Much has happened in this abbreviated six week mini-season (new episodes are on hold until February, so that they can run through the rest of the season without repeat interruptions).  And when a lot happens on Lost, it's a good thing.  I didn't necessarily like all that happened, but then I did like enough of it to keep watching and to keep wanting to watch next year.  In case you haven't kept up, here's the quick recap:  Jack, Sawyer, and Kate were kidnapped basically because Jack is a spinal surgeon and the Others' leader (Ben, formerly known as Henry Gale) has a tumor on his spine.  How they knew Jack was a surgeon and what exactly the Others are up to remains unclear.  But they still claim they are the "good guys", even as they kept Kate and Sawyer locked in a cage all season.  Jack agreed to the surgery, but stops midway through with Ben's life on the line and gets in contact with Kate just in time to save Sawyer's life.  Oh, and Kate and Sawyer totally did it.  That's when the "season" ends.  In other news, Locke saves Eko's life just in time for the island's black smoke monster to kill him; a polar bear appears just in time for Locke to kill it; Desmond seems to be able to see the future; Charlie is still annoying; and Sun is a big fat liar and kind of a slut.  Also, Jin knows what everyone is saying.  And Hurley is still fat.
  

The Amazing Finale

   

    "Oh I can tell this is gonna suck."

Well Jeremy's words were pretty prescient this week, describing the fate of their team after dominating the Race for most of the season but getting felled at the final task by a challenge that was not suited to their normally impressive talents.  It was a strong season for the most part, but there were only four teams that readily competed in every leg, and three of them made it to the final leg (with only MoJo kicked out early).  And in the end, after significant bunching at multiple stages in the 2-hour finale, each of which basically rendered the entire challenges preceding them meaningless - including trips to both Japan and Alaska - it all came down to a Roadblock featuring flags of each of the countries that the teams had visited on the Race, which the contestants had to put in order of their arrival at the country.  The "frat boys" made it to the challenge first, but needless to say, they were not the first to complete it.   

    Jeremy: "We didn't know the last one would be brains."

The Final Three

Three teams remain for the finale of the ninth season of The Amazing Race, after a tightly fought last two legs ended in the unceremonious elimination of Team MoJo, who fought their way from the bottom all the way to the very top of the most annoying team list, and who will not be missed.  Especially the hyper-sensitive and pretty dumb Barbie girl Monica, whose tear-filled failure during the crucial Detour stage basically cost her team the win.   

    Monica: "We thought we were the first team."
    Jeremy: "Man, did you think wrong."

Eric and his bitingly sarcastic and mean but strangely amusing partner Jeremy continued to dominate another leg, but a fortunate yet painful Fast Forward victory by BJ & Tyler took them to the head of the class for the race, leaving Ray and Yolanda fighting with Team MoJo for the right to participate in the final leg with the other two teams.  And it was close - or at least the cameras make it look so - in the second straight leg in which at least three teams finished within moments of each other.  But in the end, with Monica crying some more on the final mat, Phil announced them out of the race and out of the money.  That's a shame.

The Motherland

My ancestors hail exclusively from Germany (and Austria), so I've always wanted to visit the Motherland.  But since I don't really fly or travel or you know, leave the state of New Jersey, last week's episode of The Amazing Race in and around Germany was the next best thing.  It was actually the 2nd part of a 2-part leg that began in Russia and ended in Moscow with Phil telling teams that they needed to fly to Frankfurt because the leg wasn't over.  Eric and Jeremy were the first ones to arrive there, and get on the first flight to Germany.   

    Jeremy:  "Eric and me hugging wasn't very romantic.  It was kinda gay."

And the race begins...