VAGUE SPACE

Summer TV Reviews

As we begin to embark upon the  fall television season, which has me excited for tonight's premiere of the 5th year of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, I wanted to write a quick review of what was easily the best summer season of television series in a long time, maybe ever.  There were a half dozen or so shows that I made appointment viewing in the past couple months, and with True Blood's wacky and somewhat disappointing finale Sunday, only Entourage remains as a summer series that is continuing into fall.  But Ari and the gang are nearly over, so without further ado, here are my rankings of the top series in the summer of 2009 (that I watched).

1. Nurse Jackie (Showtime)  This new show that followed Weeds on Monday nights seemed a little shaky to me at first, but I was paying $10 a month just to watch Weeds so I stayed with it, and I couldn't be happier.  Edie Falco of Sopranos fame plays the eponymous star of the show, a night nurse at a New York City hospital who (1) has a massive prescription drug habit, (2) is cheating on her husband with someone from the hospital, (3) has two young children, the oldest of which has anxiety issues similar to her own, and (4) constantly bends the hospital rules to preserve all her secrets and to provide better nursing for her patients.  So yeah, she's really fucked up.  Like really, really.  But as played by Falco -- who is absolutely brilliant in the role -- she's also incredibly likable and vulnerable and even sometimes hard to watch as she digs herself further into self-made traumas that only dramatic actions can get her out of.  When she can't get her wedding ring off in an episode late in the season (no one but her closest friend at the hospital, a hilarious but also well-rounded doctor character played by British actress Eve Best, is aware that she's married, including her lover), she has her doctor friend cut it off and then, in a painful scene to watch, ends up smashing her finger in the bathroom with a hammer for an excuse for her husband about what happened to the ring.  The show is a half-hour long, but in the mode of Weeds, it's not a comedy, nor is it a drama -- it's certainly far from melodramatic -- but there are funny parts, some outright hilarious; there are serious parts; there are amazing parts; and mostly, it's just about these flawed people living their flawed lives, and failing, but holding my interest in a way that no new show has captured my interest since, well, True Blood last September.  By the end of the season, I would watch the taped episode of Nurse Jackie before the taped episode of Weeds.  Which makes it #1 in my book.

It's Not TV. It's HBOver.

If you are one of the 20 million subscribers to HBO who spent the last two weeks dissecting the Sopranos finale and wondering whether it was truly brilliant cinema or a David Chase mindfuck, you're probably also wondering whether or not to cancel your subscription to HBO -- unless you already have.  And if you're not, what exactly are you paying $13.95 a month for?  Entourage?  And.... Entourage?  Did you watch this week's episode?  Did you really pay $13.95 to see Billy Walsh go psycho crazy and hit on an extra while Ari and Drama and Turtle were relegated to bit parts and Vince was unrecognizable under 20 pounds of makeup and a Spanish accent and language?  I'm sorry, but Entourage is a decent little pseudo-comedy that isn't often all that funny and is mostly just amusing.  It's certainly not worth $13.95 a month (or whatever I'm paying for HBO... it might be more than that).  So what else is there?  I made it through about 15 minutes of John from Cincinnati, which has to be longer than anyone else besides relatives of the producers lasted.  I mean, you're asking a lot by putting a rapidly aging Luke Perry in the opening scene and expecting people to stick with the show.   Combine that with the decaying remains of Rebecca De Mornay as the grandmother of a family of surfers whose husband starts floating inexplicably in the second scene of the show and who enters her 13-year-old grandson in a surfing competition, which apparently is the most audacious possible thing she could ever do, given the rest of the characters' reactions.  Except for the grandson's, whose reactions ranged from blank stare to blank stare while flubbing his lines.  Nice choice of actors there, producers.  Oh, and there's this strange guy "John" who repeats the line "Some things I know, and some things I don't," apropos of absolutely nothing, at least seventeen times too many in the parts of the show I watched.  Does it get better?  Who the fuck knows?  I stopped watching.

Season in Review

What a roller-coaster television season, one marked mostly by disappointment, but with a few bright pleasures, including a single brilliant shining example of quality network television comedy.  There was little else.  I've stopped watching TV as much in recent years, which you've probably noticed in my lack of blogging about the pleasures of television, and it is admittedly quite freeing.  I don't miss having shows to watch, for it seems as if (even with DVR) you become beholden to the shows as more than mere entertaining distractions from daily obsessions.  Several times this season, even with my limited schedule of must-watch programs, I've stared at a list with three or four O.C.s and a couple Losts and felt more resigned than anything at my need to watch them.  The truth is, it's better not to get involved, to spend my time socializing or reading or writing or listening to music -- heck, almost anything is better than being forced to watch another confusing episode of Lost... and that's one of my favorite shows.  And I've found I can only take my television in small bites for the most part.  The Daily Show and The Colbert Report - yes, of course, but they only take about 15 minutes each and then some Food Network, some baseball, maybe a glimpse of Seinfeld, and that's basically my viewing day.  I have other things to do.  The point is, when I was younger, for better or worse, I could easily make a list of some top 20 or 30 programs in a season that I've at least watched on a semi-regular basis.  Most of those were sitcoms, back when sitcoms were still programmed, but still, I had serious trouble coming up with 10 shows to make this season's list.  And I don't regret it.  Looking at the state of the top 10 in fact, I'm kind of glad that at least three of the programs will not be returning next season.  I just don't have the time anymore.

Entourage Finale

   

    Ari: "Why the fuck did you just tell him I had a more important lunch?"
    Lloyd:  "What did you want me to say?"
    Ari: "That I had a huge wart on my cock that needed to be removed would have been better."

The third season of the always entertaining but nervewrackingly erratic Entourage aired on Sunday, and the big news was the potential split between Ari and the actor that made him, one Vincent Chase, still annoyed at the loss of the Ramones movie deal, on the heels of the loss of the Medellin movie and Aquaman 2.  But Ari gets wind of the breakup and does his best to work all day to get Vince his deal back before he has a chance to tell Ari he's been fired.  Unfortunately, Ari's pissed off one too many people in the industry and is having big trouble trying to save his job.  In the meantime, Vince and the boys go agent shopping, to somewhat amusing results.   

    Drama: "They get a zero for service.  Didn't even offer us a drink."
    Turtle: "Well they get a 10 for amenities if they let me service that ass."

Three's Company

   

    Eric: "Alright guys, this is Sloane, so stop."
    Turtle: "Didn't we just see her?"
    Drama: "How whipped is this guy?"

Well it turns out - very much - but that phone call was definitely worth answering as it led to one of the sexiest scenes in the program's history - if of course the actor playing E. wasn't so prominently involved.  It also may have been the "jump the shark" moment for the series as Eric, the moral center for the wild Hollywood boys, does a decidedly immoral act.  You see Sloane has a friend, a gorgeous blonde friend, who for reasons known only to the writers, has a thing for Eric, and Sloane - like all girls in pornography or you know, the writers' imagination, feels like experimenting.  So three becomes company, the girls get naked and make out, and thankfully the door closes before we see Eric get involved.  And no, none of that was remotely funny.  In fact, very little of the episode was.  But it was rather memorable.

Entourage

   

    Lloyd: "The cleaning staff's on strike, you know that."
    Ari: "They strike, you work.  You're Asian, you're supposed to be a neat freak.  Go get a rag."

Thank god Ari is back.  Oh how we've missed you.  And with a summer television season completely devoid of originality or entertainment, it certainly helps a blogger who writes a lot about TV to have something to talk about.  And you really can't do any better at this point of the year than Ari and Drama and Turtle and E.  And of course, Aquaman.   

    Turtle: "These two will fuck us if we take them, guaranteed."
    Vincent: "How do you know?"
    Turtle: "Because they said 'we will fuck you if you take us'."

Exodus

A highly eventful second to last episode of the second season of Entourage appeared on HBO last night, a tour-de-force for Jeremy Piven in a mostly non-comedic plot revolving around serious life changing events (well, serious for this show).  Ari gets fired.  Vince and Mandy break up.  And Vincent quits "Aquaman".  Oh, should I have said "spoilers ahead"?  Sorry, you should have watched it already.  But read on for the recap!

Stop Being So White, Drama

I've added a new category to the list on the left here, as this show has gotten good enough to earn a permanent spot on my television show listings.  And as usual, I'm ahead of the curve again, as Entourage has been picked up for a 3rd season in the midst of strong ratings growth, extraordinary buzz, and even a Newsweek feature.  As always, just follow my advice and you can do no wrong.  (And stay tuned for another new show that I'll review later this week that is just as excellent... hint, it's not a reality show). 

On this week's episode, trouble ensues when Vince misses an appointment because he and Mandy "slept in", causing Ari, Debi Mazar, and a whole team of suits who handle Ms. Moore's career to go into panic overdrive, with Eric trying to smooth things over to the best of his feeble abilities.  But as usual, the subplot involving Johnny and Turtle takes center stage and delivers the biggest laughs of the night.  As Bill Simmons mentioned, seeing Kevin Dillon's star surpass his brother's at this point in their respective careers is pretty much something no one could have ever predicted.

The Bat Mitzvah

Having spent all of my life as a dedicated non-Jew, I don't know much about the intracacies of the Bar Mitzvah celebration.  I know that it happens when the kid is 13; that all the old relatives are invited and expected to bring gifts; that there's some words in Yiddish that need to be spoken; and that it may or may not involve Boggle.  And on this week's Entourage, it also included a fight for the soul of Vinnie Chase.

Ari's daughter's Bat Mitzvah is the featured event on this week's episode, which has Ari in an especially uptight mood:  "Don't even think about not picking that up, Ray, because I'll kill you", he tells a neighbor whose dog is shitting on the lawn outside his house.  But even more stressful is the appearance of his boss/partner (played by Malcolm McDowell), who seems to be trying to steal Vince from him on the heels of his signing on to do Aquaman.

Ain't It a Cool Entourage

"I started this site out of my parents' basement for two reasons -- to get laid and to make a little money... neither of which are coming to fruition." RJ Spencer.

"RJ" is a creation of this week's Entourage, presumably intending to spoof Harry Knowles of Ain't it Cool News, whose Internet site has managed to derail many studios attempts at launching successful comic book movie franchises, much like the fictional Aquaman film that Vincent Chase is making.  In fact, his website included a blurb on it posted at 10:29 pm EST (right after the show premiered) denounced the program for not approaching him to play the part that lampoons him mercilously.  Pretty funny stuff as the improving series continues to blur the line between fiction, reality, and what VH-1 calls "Celebreality".  And any resemblance to "RJ Spencer"s statement and the creation of Vague Space is simply inaccurate.  I did not start this site in my parent's basement.