GOB: "My God, what is this feeling?"
Michael: "Well, you know the-the feeling that you're... that you're feeling is-is what many of us call 'a feeling.'"
GOB: "But it's not like envy, or even hungry."
Michael: "Could it be love?"
GOB: "I know what an erection feels like, Michael."
Michael: Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh ... No, I don't. Not really ... ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.
Gob: I will not take this sacred duty lightly. I am going to get you the single healthiest call girl that this town has ever seen.
Michael: This is why I'm calling it a witness and not a best man. All you gotta do is watch.
Gob: I'm not going to spend this kind of money and not watch!
Michael: I'm not going to lie to your son.
Gob: Come on! I lie to yours all the time.
(Singing)
Gob: It ain't easy being white.
Franklin: It ain't easy being brown.
Gob: All this pressure to be bright.
Franklin: I got children all over town!
Gob: Sometime ... (spoken) hey, where'd the guy go?
Michael: We're brothers. We shouldn't be fighting. We cannot afford to lose each other.
Gob: I can't. I already lost a brother today.
Michael: Franklin?
Gob: Well, I didn't lose him. But he's all puckered and white.
Michael: On the plus side, you can take him to lunch at the club now.
Gob: That's the kind of joke he would have loved!
George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
Sitwell: The only thing I ask is out of the four hundred and fifty homes we build, one be given to a disadvantaged family from the inner city.
Gob: That's great, so the other 449 families live in fear? Is that what we're saying? Come on!
Gob: Take off your glasses. Oh ... Wait, wait. Let down your hair. No, glasses on, hair back up. Let's just get that hair right back up.
Kitty: Let me turn the lights off.
Gob: Yes, yes, please.
Kitty: How's that? Is that better?
Gob: It just seems like there's still light coming in from under the door!
Gob: And if I'm going to be staying here...
Lucille: Staying here? What, did that Mexican throw you out?
Gob: She's not "that Mexican", Mom. She's my Mexican. And she's Colombian or something. Anyway, it's over.
Lucille: You've got three days.
Gob: Hey... If I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay here.
Buster: It's like she gets off by being withholding.
Gob: Look who's got something to say.
Buster: I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I can feel good about myself. 'Cause I'm an uptight -- BLEEEEEEEEP -- You old horny slut!
Michael: Well, no one's gonna top that.
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