Happy Holidays

I've spent the past 2 weeks "recovering" from my foot surgery but it's been largely a nightmare.  The first few days were a blur of Percocet and pain, trying to last 4 hours between doses and trying in vain to sleep through the night.  I also had 2 presentations to do for work the next week with no one else at the company that could do them so I had pretty much zero time off.  After surgery.  Not good times.  The next few days were a mixture of trying to ween myself off the heavier doses so my mind could recover enough to focus but the pain in the foot was still pretty intense and actually got worse on the side of the foot where the surgery didn't occur.  I went back to the doctor to have him look at what was causing that pain, and in the process he removed the medical wrap that had been on the foot since the surgery to reveal a grossly swollen, miscolored, hideous stump where my foot used to be -- I seriously thought they'd have to amputate... but the doctor assured me this was a perfectly normal appearance a week after the surgery he performed and without the wrap on, the other side of my foot should lessen in pain.  Which it did.  So there's that.  I got off the Percocet a day later so the past few days have at least been better for the rest of my body/mind, but it's really only today that the foot itself doesn't quite hurt so bad all all the time.  Again, the doctor says it's normal and that the X-rays (which he showed me -- there's a goddamn piece of metal in the middle of my big toe now) showed everything progressing fine, so it's really just up to me to be patient and let my body heal on its own.  But I'm not patient.  Nor a good patient.  These past 2 weeks have been absolute hell. 

I'm now in a boot -- the same exact type of boot I wore for 4 weeks this summer as an attempted "cure" for the original injury that resulted in the surgery.  I hated the boot then and I hate it more now, although once the pain becomes bearable enough that I can actually walk a little on the heal instead of strictly using crutches maybe I'll appreciate the boot more.  But that's probably a week away.  And it's a full 3 weeks before I return to the doctor for another x-ray / look that will presumably let me ditch the boot and walk again... and perhaps more importantly drive again.   But that's so far away right now I can't even focus on it.  I truly was dreading the thought of not driving for the 4 to 6 weeks that the doctor said it would take to recover -- and I spent the month leading up to the surgery stocking my house full of food and telling everyone I knew that I'd need to rely on them for help while I was housebound.  Yet I haven't even thought about not driving.  It's tough to think of leaving the house when I'm not even able to walk without crutches.  Or without pain.  So right now all I can do is what I've been doing the past 2 weeks, sit on my couch and wait... for the pain to go away.  Anyway, this surgery has definitely proven to be as bad as the knee surgery I went through 3 years ago and vowed to never ever do again (at least not electively) but here I am... again suffering through leg pain and right now I'm sort of wishing I had just resigned myself to never run or be completely healthy again -- the foot pain had become bearable over the past couple of months -- but maybe sometime this spring this will all have been worth it.  For now, I need a fucking drink.

Thanks to Matt and Rob and Tanya and Larry and Jill and my parents for stopping by with supplies or much needed cheer, even though I'm pretty miserable to be around.  And thanks to everyone else for their well wishes.  Happy holidays to all my readers.  May next year be a happy and healthy one for all of you, especially me. 

• Download Low- "Especially Me".mp3

cry me a river
so i can float over to you
the bearer to deliver the news
i'm over the moon
and underfoot
all these elixirs would be moot

'cause if we knew where we belong
there'd be no doubt where we're from
but as it stands, we don't have a clue
especially me and probably you

you've fallen in a slumber
just wake one more time
to miss or put asunder
would be a crime
some songs feel like butter
some songs sound like cake
this little number is for your sake

'cause if we knew where we belong
there'd be no doubt where we're from
but as it stands, we don't have a clue
especially me and probably you

'cause if we knew where we belong
there'd be no doubt where we're from
but as it stands, we all need the truth
especially me and probably you
definitely you

•  Download Low - "Just Like Christmas".mp3

 

Comments

[Jan]

Here's what you need to look forward to.....Rounder's Spring Training is about 3 months away, I know that puts a much needed smile on your face.....Wishing you a speedy recovery, a Very Merry X-Mas, and a Happy and Healthy New Year!!

[Bill]

Thanks Jan, the laughter at that comment does put a smile on my face.

[Jan]

Trust me, it's not a laughing matter....

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