Amazing Race All Stars

Inexplicably, I haven’t written about this season’s All-Star Amazing Race yet this year. Actually, there is an explanation. It’s kind of sucked. The show got off to a weak start with an uninspired group of selections for the “All-Star” cast (David & Mary, Eric & Danielle, the personality free Uchenna & Joyce as the only former winners in the race), and then got hit by three of the most popular teams getting eliminated in the first four weeks (John Vito & Jill, a suddenly very out-of-shape and old Kevin & Drew, and the shocking loss of Rob & Amber after victories in each of the first three legs). What was shaping up to be Rob & Amber vs. the world for an entertaining race to victory turned into a scramble of good but not great racers vying for the top position, while Charla & Mirna (okay, mostly Mirna) have become the lead personalities for an otherwise mostly uninteresting cast. It’s gotten so bad that I’m actually rooting for the despicable Mirna to continue on, just because her insane antics and rude behavior make for good television. All in all, though, The Amazing Race has been on a steady slide since the wonderful Season 7 (Rob & Amber losing to Uchenna & Joyce), and All-Stars has not brought about any kind of recovery.

There are five teams remaining after this week’s two-hour broadcast that saw the elimination of Season 1’s Team Guido, a long, sometimes entertaining, but ultimately frustrating episode that gave Guido really no chance to recover from some bad plane luck leading to a showdown with Eric & Danielle that lasted two full legs, but mercifully ended when they were forced to sit out a 30-minute penalty for finishing last in the previous non-elimination leg. On the bright side, each of the five remaining teams would seem to have a legitimate shot to win the Race, if only because no one has truly stood out and dominated. On the downside, that would mean Mirna has a shot at one-half of a million dollars. Not good times.

Danny & Oswald, particularly a constantly flippant and hilarious Oswald, have emerged as the stars of this season, cemented by their chase of host Phil at the finish line after he ran off the mat for fear that they would hug him while covered in dirt from a coal-loading Detour a couple episodes ago. Season 2 was the only season I didn’t watch – or regularly watch, so I don’t remember these fan favorites, but they are definitely carrying the season, at least since Rob & Amber were eliminated. They are also quite clearly the best racers left, having finished consistently at or near the top of the standings all season long, despite not seeming to take any of it too seriously. Their lax attitudes are the complete opposite of many other racers (although not many this season) and perhaps serve them well. Whether it will cost them in the end remains to be seen.

Uchenna & Joyce have to be looked at as co-favorites by now, having already won a Race, through some fortunate end-of-race luck over Rob & Amber, despite the latter having dominated their season. They seem to be having even better luck this season, skating by mostly in the middle of the pack and lucking into a non-elimination leg the one time they dropped to last. I vaguely remember them being better racers on the previous season than they’ve shown here, but they are also very calm and at the very least incredibly supportive of each other, so it would certainly be no surprise to see them win again. A little disappointing maybe, since they do lack for personalities, but I wouldn’t begrudge them another million, I guess.

Dustin and Kandice, the beauty queens from Season 10 that just finished in the fall, are probably the next best option to win it all. They also spent most of the early stages finishing safely in the middle of the pack without challenging for the lead, but have stepped things up in recent legs. And while they kind of grated on me last season, they’ve sort of altered their attitudes a bit and seem much more relaxed, funny, and enjoyable this year. They are also incredibly supportive of each other (a trait of each of the top 3 teams… and most teams that win) and haven’t earned the animosity of other teams like last season (which, I think, was mostly a function of poor attitudes of weaker and probably jealous team members like Mary and the Lyn that was always in a bad mood – I forget her full name). So I’d be very happy if they were to win as well. They are pretty good racers, but do have a tendency to over think things and sometimes miss out on small distractions that hurt them big time. They’d be a good choice for the first all-female team to win it all, though.

Eric and Danielle are still alive, to the delight of almost no one. Eric, who teamed with his friend Jeremy back in a rather dominant Season 9 that saw them unfortunately finish second to the idiot hippies, has teamed with the girlfriend he met that season, one of the “Pinks”, an attractive but frighteningly dimwitted girl named Danielle. And he has spent the season constantly berating her for her inadequacies (or his own), while also reeling off a litany of sexist, homophobic, and downright misogynistic remarks. Danielle, for her part, has finally started standing up for herself in recent episodes, although it’s done little to change his “God’s gift to the world” attitude, and I don’t see this relationship extending much past the end of this Race. I also don’t see them with a real legitimate shot to win, but for all his faults, Eric is a pretty excellent racer, doing well despite a rather weak partner and having gone far in the game before. He also had the best line of the season, announced to the crowd, “Ladies and gentleman, Miss California” when the beauty queen who actually was Miss California ended up puking all over the floor after the eating challenge in this week’s episode. He’s still an ass, though.

And last but not least, of course, are Charla and Mirna. Oh where to begin. From her bizarre way of communicating with foreigners (speaking in a strange, unintelligible accent and adding an “o” to every word) to her constant badgering of partner and cousin Charla (“Yes, you’re right, I never do anything, I’m worthless, I don’t know why, I’m sorry,” Charla finally deadpanned last episode) to the insane way she thinks she’s both superior to everyone and yet unfairly persecuted, she is as someone on one of the message boards remarked, “A perfect example of how an alien life form might act on Earth.” I couldn’t stand her during their season – I openly wished harm upon her – but for the most part this year, I’ve found her somewhat amusing despite still hating every single thing about her personality. Then this week in Poland, while hurling a steady stream of barraging insults at the Polish citizens who refused to stop everything they were doing in order to help her not get lost, I think she finally went over the top and I’m wishing extreme harm come to her again. Charla’s kind of annoying, too, and maybe would grate on me on her own, but compared to her cousin, she’s practically a saint. Of course, the strange thing is that Mirna seems completely oblivious to the fact that her actions are so bizarre and anti-social. This appears to be her personality and most definitely not an act for televised publicity, which actually makes it a little sad. I mean, seriously, who raised her? Who yells at a cab driver for 10 straight minutes and then starts crying and begging for his help after he refuses to continue driving a clearly insane woman? Well I’m not sure of the answers to those questions, but I cannot deny that she makes great television. Now that we’re getting perilously close to the finish line, though, it’s probably best if she leaves. I could not imagine how inflated her ego would be if she (and Charla) won Amazing Race All-Star Edition.

 

Comments

[UNI]

i thought danny&oswald would win the race but that ok