Dude, I'm Such a Hot Giant Chick Right Now

In the penultimate episode of the 10th season of The Amazing Race this week, the final four dipped down to a fairly shocking final three, after a trip from Morocco to Barcelona that ended with two teams wearing giant customes of -- well, giants, which resulted in the title of this post.  And a rather anticlimactic ending thanks to multiple bunchings along the way that left the team "marked for elimination" in the previous leg without much chance to gain the 30 minutes they required to hold off the other teams.  In reality, Dustin and Kandice, the hated "Blondes", who had been up near the top the entire race, finished in last for the 2nd straight leg and were wished a fond farewell by Phil at the mat in the Spanish capital.  Which means the final three is... Rob and Kimberly, Tyler and James, and the most shocking result of all - Lyn and Karlyn, the very first all-female team in the history of the show to make it to the final leg.  And I don't think anyone would have predicted that the out-of-shape, slow, and generally lagging team of Alabama "Lyns" would have broken that lengthy record.  But they did.  And they've got a chance to win a million dollars.  Very little chance, I presume, but a chance nonetheless.

The race began with a trip to a market in Casablanca, led by James and Tyler, who cooked up and ate a pound of camel meat before half the teams even made it into the city.  The heads of the camels, with long, skinned necks attached, was a pretty disgusting sight, but apparently the camel meat tasted like "a really good hamburger", at least according to Tyler (or James, who ever ate it - I don't know which is which).  Anyway, the Blondes - who started last, arrived second at the Roadblock, and the one who ate ended up finishing her meal before a hopelessly lost Rob & Kimberly and Lyn & Karlyn found the clue.   They made up their half-hour lead requirement by the time they reached the airport, catching up with the boys there.  Of course, all the racing of the entire first leg was meaningless, because the other teams - despite falling apart and screaming at each other in delightful fashion at the camel-eating stop, all caught up in the lag at the airport.  Then everyone raced to the next site in Barcelona, only to be informed that it was closed for the night.  More bunching.  So the race for the final 3 came down to only the couple minor events of the next day in Barcelona - basically, one relatively easy Detour.  The Blondes had no chance unless they finished in first.

Everyone hates the Blondes by now, which I don't know - I mean, yes they're hyper-competitive and not very friendly and have these fake plastered smiles on all the time while they secretly are plotting to rip your heart out -- yeah, I can see why everyone hates them.  So the bunching delights everyone else.  After finding the next clue in a maze of trees, all the teams race off in taxis to the Detour.  Well, two of the teams do.  The Blondes and Rob and Kimberly got taxis while the other two teams seem hopelessly lost trying to get them.  Rob and Kimberly go to the most obviously difficult task - finding a clue in a massive pile of tomatoes, while the Blondes head off to wear the Giants around town.  And no, they didn't lose a game to a 44-year-old retired kicker, at least not in this episode.

James & Tyler eventually get a taxi and follow the Blondes.  The Lyns follow Rob and Kimberly, who are wilting under the pressure of finding the clue, while simultaneously getting pelted by tomatoes thrown by the crowd as part of some Spanish ceremony that was easily one of the most enjoyable race Detours ever.  Kim breaks down after about 3 hits in the head with tomatoes, while Rob is kind of enjoying it and throwing the tomatoes back at the crowd.  But Kim can't take it, starts crying uncontrollably, and as has been his habit this entire race, Rob does little to comfort her, instead screaming at her and calling her a quitter when she finally gives up.  I kind of agree with him that she chose a lousy time to quit, but jeez, he only made the situation worse, and then berated her on the way back to the taxi to go to the other Detour spot.  Fortunately, though, the taxi driver informs him of the distance to the next Detour (20 km), which convinces them to stay and finish the task.  They find the clue in about 2 minutes.  It was great television.

In the meantime, the Blondes are lost traveling around Barcelona with huge, hot, sweaty Giant customes on their shoulders.  The boys catch them and they each reach the clue at the same time, which is good for James & Tyler and not so much for the Blondes and their hopes of finishing in first ahead of them.  They are very athletic, but they're not going to beat the boys in a sprint.  Unfortunately, at around the same time, Rob and Kimberly are crossing the finish line in first place.  The Blondes only hope would be to beat the Lyns by 30 minutes and... not going to happen.  The Lyns also suffer at the tomato break, but don't whine nearly as much as Kimberly and get through it (despite also considering quitting), thanks to Karlyn's persistence.  She really needs to slap her little friend with the attitude.  She and Kimberly (and Rob) did not come off well in this episode.

But they are all in the finals, as Dustin and Kandice say goodbye.  James & Tyler have to be the heavy favorites in the last leg, as the only all-male team left and definitely the team with the most physical prowess. They're not necessarily the brightest bulbs in the lot, although they do have a knack for noticing route markers, a huge advantage over Rob & Kimberly, who seem to struggle with that, probably because he's busy yelling at her, or alternately, breaking down and crying and saying how much he loves her.  Seriously, that happened within 10 minutes on tonight's show... run away, Kim!  Run the fuck away! 

As for the Lyns, well they made the final 3, so congratulations on that.  And I will say that they are probably the smartest team, and certainly the calmest, but "slow and steady" can really only go so far in this race, at least if other seasons are any guide.  Almost invariably, there is a bunching before the final task, which usually has a physical element, then there's a taxi ride and a sprint.  I still think the Lyns have no shot.  But we'll see.  Season finale next Sunday.

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