Eric: "Alright guys, this is Sloane, so stop."
Turtle: "Didn't we just see her?"
Drama: "How whipped is this guy?"
Well it turns out - very much - but that phone call was definitely worth answering as it led to one of the sexiest scenes in the program's history - if of course the actor playing E. wasn't so prominently involved. It also may have been the "jump the shark" moment for the series as Eric, the moral center for the wild Hollywood boys, does a decidedly immoral act. You see Sloane has a friend, a gorgeous blonde friend, who for reasons known only to the writers, has a thing for Eric, and Sloane - like all girls in pornography or you know, the writers' imagination, feels like experimenting. So three becomes company, the girls get naked and make out, and thankfully the door closes before we see Eric get involved. And no, none of that was remotely funny. In fact, very little of the episode was. But it was rather memorable.
In the meantime, the showdown between the studio and Vince intensifies over his unwillingness to commit to Aquaman 2, which Ari is unable to intervene in, mostly because none of the guys - except for Drama of course - is willing to talk to him. Vince finally agrees to speak to Ari, but only under one condition: he find his new client, Johnny Drama, a job. Not exactly an easy task, and no one at the firm is up to the task. Except Lloyd, who continues stealing every scene he's in, and he gets Johnny work. Or at least an audition. Ari finally gets to see Vince, who does not relent. Even at an offer of $12.5 million for the sequel. He's willing to do the job because he signed a contract, but he refuses to speak to the Warner boss and claims he'll never work with him again. Ari is not exactly pleased.
Eric: "We're gonna need to get drunk."
Sloane: "Definitely."
Manager Eric is a little too busy to help Ari out, what with the whole menage going on and all, and hey - if it worked for Jerry Seinfeld, I guess it can work for Kevin Connolly, right? Um... let's just move on. So Ari is left to smooth things over with the studio head on his own. Predictably, this does not go well. The studio guy kicks Vincent off the sequel and says he'll never work in the town again. Ari breaks the news to Eric over the phone, interrupting his post-coital bliss...
"Vince is out. Jake Gyllenhaal is in. Brokeback motherfucking Aquaman."
This on top of Benicio Del Toro getting the starring role in the Medellin movie that Vincent wanted to drop (or at least postpone) Aquaman for. Not good times for the gang. And next week, the hot whore who kind of slept with Eric returns, and he may have developed feelings for her, instead of his girlfriend. That you have to kind of respect at least. As for Vince, who knows, but it seems like his white-hot career is suddenly in jeopardy. Plus, Pirates of the Caribbean just blew past Aquaman's opening weekend record, relegating it to history in this lightning paced industry. So we'll have to see if his character shows any growth from this incident, or if Adrian Grenier actually shows any acting ability beyond a disinterested smirk. Because that's getting more than a bit annoying.
Oh and this Wednesday and Thursday, the immortal Artie Lange will be on the set filming scenes for a guest appearance on the program (not playing himself). Artie - current star of the Howard Stern Radio Show on Sirius 100, and future star of Beer League (coming this September to a theater near you!) - has been discussing this appearance for a while, mostly because he was asked to guest on the show after the producers saw him in Beer League, which was filmed a year and several chins ago. Now that Artie has ballooned to 274 lbs. (according to today's weigh-in), he was a little frightened of losing his role, since the part imagines a not-so-obese character with a smoking hot wife. On the bright side, his weight today was down 3 lbs. since his first weigh-in a couple weeks ago. On the downside, I gained 2 lbs. just listening to his description of what he ate while at the All-Star game in Pittsburgh last week. Let me see if I can remember this correctly:
- Chicken fingers platter with a mound of french fries
- Waffle cone with a mound of vanilla ice cream
- Foot long hot dog
- Cheeseburger
- Box of cracker jacks
- Two slices of pizza
- Four large cokes
- Large bag of shelled peanuts
This was one person. At one game - maybe 3 to 4 hours. Wow. I think that might be more impressive than Eric's feat on the show.
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