"Are you married?"
"It's a long story."
"Are you a fag?"
And so we see yet another brilliant episode of Weeds display its uncanny knack of politically incorrect, terribly offensive, but undeniably hilarious and somehow high-brow seeming humor, in an episode in which widow Nancy Botwin has her first post-husband's death romance, however fleeting, on the day of a Jewish "unveiling" of his tombstone. And she also has sex, although not with the guy that son Shane belittles with his line of questions. No the sex is mostly about business. Mostly.
"I fucked a black man."
Celia makes this somewhat proud announcement to her husband, who had been cheating on her with his Asian tennis instructor, got his head shaved for it, had a pallet load of Pepsi drop through their roof from a plane into his bedroom, and had his wife give away all his furniture to charity after discovering she had breast cancer. So it hasn't been a good month for him, no matter how good the Asian tennis instructor was in bed. He doesn't really get upset about the sex with the black man, but they eventually start to fight.
"We should have had this conversation 14 years ago," Celia remarks.
"Sixteen. We've been married 16 years," he retorts.
"Yes, but I liked you the first two."
In the meantime, Nancy and her sons are at Shane's karate tournament, some distance from their home, and Shane is forced to take on a kid almost twice his 10-year-old size. He reacts as any psychotic boy would, screaming "Schmahi Israel!" and biting his opponent on the ankle, drawing blood. These leads to Nancy and the bitee's father (Peter) meeting and eventually having dinner together later that night. With the whole family.
Tim: "How old are you?"
Peter: "Tim, it's not polite to ask a woman's age."
Tim: "Is that your real nose?"
Shane (to Peter): "So why aren't you married again?"
So dinner doesn't go particularly well, but Nancy gets hammered and Peter flirts up and down and they appear to hit it off, although nothing happens between them. At least not yet. When she returns home, though, she finds that a threat's been made on her family by a rival "businessman", who happens to know her housekeeper Lupita and delivered pennies to her to show his seriousness (he'd been pennying her car - some sort of gang thing I guess). So Nancy does what any good pot-dealing single mother would do. She defends her turf, chasing down the drug dealer in an alley, threatening him, and then fucking him on the hood of his car. Nice touch. She leaves him with:
"Ok, Menudo, you stay away from my family, you stay away from my house, and you stop with the fucking pennies!"
So at least she's still got her pride. That's something.
Andy: "Hey how we'd do in the [karate] tournament?"
Shane: "I brought shit up to my ears."
Andy: "That happens sometimes."
What a great show.