Edison Rounders

The Edison Rounders fell to a dominant team from the new Edison League - which is looking a whole lot like the old Woodbridge league - by a score of a 21 to 5.  Mercy ruled.  We made several errors and couldn't hit, but I think the loss had a lot more to do with the fact that each of them weighed at least 250 pounds and could crush the ball to the fence whenever they pleased.  Not good times.

Some highlights from the game for those weak-willed babies who decided not to show up last night, despite having nothing better to do: 

    1.  In batting practice, with our pitcher pitching, we had 3 straight batters struggle to get the ball out of the infield.  They launched several over the outfielders' heads.  "I hope Matt's saving his good stuff for the game," I mentioned.
    2.  Anthony shows up late, forcing our starting outfield to be Jan in left, Rob in center, and me in right.  Not exactly Ichiro-Cameron-Winn out there.  We still had more range than Jeter at short, though.
    3.  After surviving a 2-run first, Jay leads off for us in the bottom of the inning and swings at the first pitch he's seen in 8 months.  Jan is not happy.  We go down without scoring.  Jan mentions Jay's at-bat 17 more times in the next hour.  Jay observes the medical credo of "First do no harm" and somehow doesn't strangle him.
    4.  We go down 1-2-3 in the 2nd.
    5.  They score 7 runs in the bottom of the inning.  We finally get an out.  They score 4 more.  We get a 2nd out.  Another 2 runs are on the board and the bases are loaded when Melluse makes a great play on a sharp grounder to end the inning.  I promise to name my first born after him. 
    6.  We score 3 runs in the top of the 3rd, rallying around a bunch of singles and our first extra base hit in the past 2 seasons (good job, Chiesi). Jan is 2 for 2 and is trying to instill faith in the team despite the big deficit.  Me and Muller are just glad that thanks to the mercy rule, we've only got a couple more innings to go.
    7.  The opposing team starts turning smashes to the wall into singles by jogging slowly around the bases.  They score 2 more runs.
    8.  One of their runners gets caught rounding second and gets involved in the longest rundown in the history of softball.  By the 37th toss, Jan has taken over from left field and uncorks his first overhand throw in 22 years.  The ball sails 2 feet over Melluse's head and the runner scores from second.  Let's just move on.
    9.  While going out to coach 3rd base, one of the players waiting for the next game asks me the score.  I say "A whole hell of a lot to 3."  Not good times.
    10.  Defensive gems by Ryan at third, Jan in left field, and Melluse at 2nd get us out of the 4th.  We only need to score 9 runs to prevent the mercy rule.
    11.  A brief rally is thwarted and the game ends in a 2nd straight loss.  Billy and Jan try to provide words of encouragement, saying we should improve in the coming weeks.  Several players openly question their sanity for agreeing to play another season.
    12.  I spend a good 30 minutes trying to get out of Edison from the backwoods side road that the playing field was on.  I pass "Oak Tree Ave" at least 7 different times and twice end up making complete circles, before finally finding Route 287.  It turns out to be the highlight of the evening by far.

Comments

[LegFuJohnson]

This sounds familiar:
Ralph: "I'll take Ken Griffey Jr"
Bart: "Alright, I'll take Milhouse"
(Jose Canseco walks by)
Ralph: "I'll take Jose Canseco"
Bart: "D'OH!"

[Bill]

Nice. That's my favorite Simpsons episode of all time. I used to know the lyrics to the closing "Talking Baseball" song but that was some time ago.