Here is Day 2 of the "Worst of March Madness" diary special. To see Day 1, scroll down the page a bit, or click on this link.
Friday, March 18, 2005
9 am: I wake up hungover, climb back into bed and go back to sleep.
10:14: Up again, eating breakfast while (1) scoring my brackets, (2) checking out the standings from day 1, (3) figuring out how much Jan is leading by in the player pool, (4) updating the NIT standings in order to make sure Todd knows he's out of the running, (5) resarching and sending in my NBA player pickups for the week, (6) checking out Rotoworld's baseball news, (7) doing a quick perusal of the Syracuse fan forum, (8) updating this blog, and (9) checking my e-mail. Admittedly, this is what I do every morning, but I"m usually at work. It's a lot more tedious when you're not getting paid for it.
11:45: Arrive at work to pick up my Randy Moss #18 jersey that arrived in the mail yesterday. Rob is amused, Jeff is disgusted, and Don asks me if I remember the clear height for a warehouse we designed 7 years ago. I leave in a hurry.
12:00 pm: I spot Rudnick in the parking lot of Poors' and show him the jersey. After he vomits, he tells me that he won't go inside with me if I'm wearing it. I tell him it'll be fine, but then a pimped-out Escalade cruises down the street and I decide to pack the jersey away to be safe.
12:18: The first game of the afternoon tips off. We're at the same table as yesterday - me, Rud, Todd, Jan, and Dan - but we're pushed up about 2 feet closer to the televisions. We still can't see the screens, but at least now our necks will get a workout from staring straight up in the air.
12:25: Charlotte jumps out to an 18-4 lead, giving me exactly 10 minutes of game watching before consulting my brackets to see how badly I'm doing. I have Julius Hodge in 2 pools, none of which are most receding hairline, so it doesn't look good.
12:57: I order a soda, deciding to take it easy on the drinking today.
12:58: Jan screams as his fantasy player pick Brendan Plavict hits his 5th three of the first half. I immediately order a beer.
1:15: Koren arrives.
1:16: Todd and Jonathan immediately order beers.
1:22: At halftime of the first games, Jonathan convinces Dan to play pool. Todd convinces Jan to bet the under on the Villanova game. Koren convinces waitress Kristen to avoid our table at all costs.
1:55: NC State has come all the way back after struggling the entire game. Me and Jan are cheering wildly for Hodge. Jonathan is looking through the paper to try to find the Jumble.
2:05: Charlotte completely collapses and NC State starts pulling away, making it 4 for 4 on blowouts in the first set of games. On a related note, Kristen was a solid 2 for 2 on "blowouts" of her own.
2:20 Ohio suddenly makes a run at Florida, cutting a 20 point deficit to 3. Todd and Jan are watching intently, having the game in six teasers and two side bets. Jonathan starts the crossword puzzle.
2:32: Jan and Todd are on their feet as Taureen Green hits 2 free throws to put the Gators ahead 67-60 with 5 seconds left, but then Ohio rushes the ball up the court and a lack of defense leaves Leon Williams alone with a jumper... it's up, time is running out, Jan is screaming - Todd has stopped eating - Jonathan looks up briefly from his paper... and... and it's good! Ohio has cut the lead to 67-62. Me and Jonathan jump up and slap hands, celebrating the amazing comeback. Jan collapses to the ground. An amazing moment in sports history. Ohio had covered the spread. Sorry, Jan.
2:45: All four televisions are between games at the same time. Solid planning by CBS. Not surprising coming from the braintrust who thought Jason Alexander needed just one more chance to carry a sitcom.
2:49: Rudnick suggests we get a poker game together. Koren and Dan immediately agree. Rudnick starts speed dialing everyone he knows. Jan and Todd are busy speed dialing their bookie.
2:53: Rudnick has Matt on the phone and is trying to convince him to play. Matt declines, saying that he doesn't want to play with "a bunch of brown people" again. Bill and Todd are aghast at his racism.
2:55: Rudnick gets Larry on the phone at work and asks him if he can get out of work early.
2:56: Larry's car speeds out of the Tommy Hilfiger parking lot.
3:05: Some basketball games begin, but no one's paying attention. Plus, we still can't even see the screens.
3:15: Everyone but Todd and Jan reconvene at Rudnick's place for the poker game. I ruffle through his drawers looking for some cyanide, but settle for a beer. "I took off work for this?" is becoming a recurring theme this weekend.
3:32: The poker game begins. I get dealt K's and Aces in my first 5 hands and raise pre-flop each time. Koren re-raises every one. Smiling after taking half my money, he says, "I just can't fold my J-4 offsuit."
3:51: UConn is out to a big lead. Koren beats Dan with a 5-10 suited. "But they were suited!" doesn't allay Dan's anger. He's forced to re-buy.
3:52: Dan re-buys again.
3:53: Koren folds his first hand of the afternoon. The rest of us are shocked it came so early.
4:11 (back at the bar): Todd and Jan receive the check. After seeing the size of the bill, they immediately call in a parlay for the over/under on combined free throw attempts in the 2nd half by UConn guards with more than 4 letters in their first name.
4:15: Larry goes all-in with a 4-card straight to a 9 showing on the board. Holding a 5, I debate folding my straight for fear that Larry has the 10. I take several minutes, figuring out the odds of his holding a 10 instead of a 5, and calculating the pot I stand to win. I stare at Larry hard, trying to catch a read, but he's too wily and strong to give anything away. Finally, defeated, I fold my hand and the massive amount of chips in the pot. Larry giggles and turns over a K high. "I didn't even see there was a straight on the board," he smiles. Again, I took off work for this?
4:42: UConn is struggling to put away their opponent. Dan is struggling to survive with a limited amount of chips. Rudnick is struggling to look cool wearing sunglasses indoors. Their degrees of success are limited.
5:02: I go all-in against Koren but get knocked out. I think he might have had a card higher than a 9, but I'm not sure.
5:17: Amy arrives home to find 5 guys playing poker in her living room. I wish I could describe her reaction better, but it's best to say even I wasn't that upset after Syracuse lost later that night.
5:22: Koren is eliminated from the game when his J-6 offsuit fails to hold up against Rudnick's pocket kings. He implores the rest of the players to finish quickly so we can play again.
5:25: Rudnick knocks out Dan with another pair of kings. A pissed off Dan makes a disparaging remark about the Seahawks. Rudnick makes the unilateral decision to ban him from the fantasy football league next year and from ever speaking in his presence again. Somewhere in Connecticut, Rider says "Fucking asshole" under his breath.
5:29 UConn holds on to win and New Mexico's valiant comeback to make it a game falls short. I start dealing in the poker game to stave off my boredom. Dan and Koren start drinking coffee. Amy dials her old landlord to see if her apartment is still available.
5:52: Rudnick wins the tournament and graciously accepts everyone's well wishes (yeah right, and all of his friends don't secretly root for Hasselbeck to break an arm on every play).
5:57: Everyone but me is up for another quick round, but I decline due to the Syracuse game coming on in an hour. Koren starts begging me to play, refusing to take no for an answer. Sort of like how he proposed to Laura.
6:10: Jan arrives and we agree to head up to Shula's for the late games. Todd declined to come because he didn't want to make any slips of the tongue while watching basketball in Newark at night. Plus, he heard cousin Jeremy had too much homework to make it out that evening.
6:44: Me and Jan make it to Shula's.
6:45: Me and Jan's cars are short a combined 5 hubcaps.
7:11: The Syracuse game begins.
7:12: I start my first beer.
7:14: Syracuse falls behind early.
7:15: I start my second beer.
7:38: Everyone else arrives at Shula's. Syracuse is still trailing. The waitress drops a six pack in front of me.
7:51: Koren corners Amy and starts talking about Terri Schiavo.
7:52: Amy steals Jonathan's vodka tonic and throws it down in one gulp.
8:00 Syracuse is up by only 2 at halftime. Everyone assures me there's nothing to worry about. I remain outwardly calm.
8:15: Vermont takes the lead. I remain outwardly calm.
8:25: Koren loudly remarks about what a great win it would be for Vermont. I remain outwardly calm.
8:37: A buzz starts to build in the bar as several patrons realize that a bunch of white guys are upsetting a #4 seed. I remain outwardly calm.
8:49: People in the bar start openly cheering for Vermont. Koren is wandering back and forth in front of me. I remain outwardly calm.
8:58: I nearly black out from all the outward fucking calm and start screaming at the television when Syracuse ties the game with less than a minute remaining. Amy looks on in horror.
9:00 - 11:00 I don't have any recollection of what happened during this time period.
11:02: I print out a recipe for a long island iced tea on my home computer.
11:30-end of night: I don't have any recollection of what happened during this time period.
The End.
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